You are really looking forward to that new job you interviewed for…
The one that made you go into their office several times to meet all the talented people you will be working with, see where your team sits (Oh look! There is your desk!), show you where you’ll be getting coffee in the morning and how to fix the espresso machine if it’s on the fritz again (just bang the side twice with your first and it should work like new, go ahead give it a try!), show you the secret shortcut to the cafe (don’t forget to grab your lunch before 1 to beat the rush, Mushroom Soup Mondays!), and then walk you past the cool Foosball table in the hallway while wrapping up visit number three by dangling a sizable rate you could be getting for working on interesting, highly visible, nothing-short- of-creative-and-challenging projects…
“Thank you for coming in again… on such short notice… to go over everything we went over the last two times… but wait there’s more… [Insert several wasted minutes of them rehashing the process and how it may take a week or two for their company to draft the employment contract but they are EXTREMELY interested in your background and excited to get someone in the role ASAP]”…….I’ll wait
Meanwhile you leave the interview feeling fantastic like you just got a fresh hair cut, your intimate parts are as smooth as a babies bottom, and you all of a sudden feel the weight of the world lifted off your shoulders and the need to tell your boss off in every language that you never knew you could speak and carelessly go into work late at least 4 out of 5 days a week and put your feet up on your desk for the next two weeks….
They said the process will be a while so you begin to immerse yourself in the role as you research the company and the work they do along with the projects that will have your name written all over them. You tell your family and your friends that you just ROCKED that interview (for the third time) and you’re feeling REALLY good about this one! Another week or two rolls by…
Maybe I should follow-up, I haven’t heard anything in a couple weeks …hmm
The initial excitement is starting to wind down and you are getting impatient and anxious every time you see a notification that you have new email hoping its your employment contract but it’s your boss expressing his disappointment in yet another thing you do. It gets even worse when you walk by him in the hall and he pulls you aside to inconsiderately tell you to stop everything you are doing so that you can do this one very important thing for him that he is clearly capable of doing himself because it’s part of his job… and all you can think about is unleashing a rectal symphony of bean-induced atomic stink bombs brought to you by yesterdays zesty burrito dinner at taco bell guest starring an entire crave case (yolo) to satisfy the midnight munchies at white castle…right in his FACE! Then moonwalk out of there…but not before you utter your last words …
“I Think I’ve had enough!”
Your eagerness to make that a reality compels you to follow-up immediately by emailing a short-but-sweet, I-hope-I-don’t-sound-too-desperate note that casually indicates you have been waiting FOREVER and what the #%$& is going on?!!!
“Oh, sorry I haven’t gotten back to you, they decided to go in a different direction but let’s stay in contact in case anything comes up in the future!”
This is where your jaw drops, your heart starts to pound a little harder, your nose starts to tingle, a frown gradually creeps its way onto your face with a look in your eyes that could make a 5 year old cry for his mommy all while depression cascades over your aura like a black cloud over a storm and just as hyperventilating takes place you throw whatever is in your hands across the room and anger becomes your new outfit for the next few moments as you silently scream in your head in…
3…. 2…. 1….
WHAT? You basically hired me before I left your interview, 2 interviews ago! I’ve already mentally checked out of my job, used all of my sick days, crafted elaborate excuses for being late, told my boss off in Chinese, immersed myself in this new role, told everyone I know and their mother that I am movin on up and you decide that you’re ‘going in a different direction’?????… I’ll show you what direction to go in… @#$%!&!!!!”
Take a Deep Breath….
…and another one
They don’t care how you feel so why choose to be discouraged and feel anything other than motivation to find something even better … let it go, you don’t even like Mushrooms or even Monday’s for that matter!
Keep it moving….
7 Ways to Stay Positive After Interview Rejection Hell
1) Accept Rejection as a Possibility
First and foremost prepare mentally for this opportunity to not work out. Have you ever went to a casino and gave yourself a certain amount of money to spend knowing the possibility that you could leave empty handed but you told yourself that you wont be upset if that happens but your main goal is double it and you repeat over and over again the same mantra you always do to pep yourself up and get ready for a great time? Same mental preparation you should use to accept that this opportunity is not the one. So before you get in that interview, prepare mentally but stay positive for the best possible outcome.
2) Don’t Work For Free
Then once you get there and find that you are excited about the position – don’t do any research on the projects or company, don’t immerse yourself in the role before you get it. It’s okay to do your homework before you get there so that you can speak to the requirements of the position and come across well informed about the company but after the interview, the ball is in their court. They aren’t paying you before they offer you the job so don’t work before you accept it.
3) Ask the Right Questions to Intuitively Predict the Outcome
Listen to what they have to say about the role and the company and ask the right questions to determine if the role and the company are honestly a good for fit you, if their requirements for the position clearly match yours, if their need to fill the role is immediate, and what their body language and communication style is saying when they answer your questions. This may take some level of intuitiveness to interpret their behaviors (it’s okay if you don’t have any, I’ll get to that in another post!). The right questions answered the wrong way will make all of their intentions extremely clear and give you a better understanding of what the outcome may be.
4) Play It Cool
Don’t get excited if that prediction IS in your favor! That is the #1 way to set yourself up for disappointment if anything should not go the way you think it will.
5) Continue Business As Usual
No matter how amazing the opportunity sounds, how right it feels, or how sure you are that you have this one ‘in the bag’…continue seeking opportunities elsewhere at full force as if this opportunity never came across your table and don’t stop… ever! The key is to always appear available for opportunities even when you score a great one. There is always room for improvement and to climb that illusory ladder of success!
6) Overwhelming Discouragement
You will undoubtedly feel some type of discouragement but always tell yourself “everything happens for a reason, this wasn’t the one because something better is coming and I when it does I will be available to accept it” and then use that as a baseline to set your standards for the next role that comes along.
7) Turn a Negative into a Positive
Lastly, if it is hard for you to control your emotions or let things roll off your shoulder and shake them off then most likely you are still stewing in those feelings from #6: discouragement, failure, defeat, insecurity, low self-esteem…the list goes on when you let emotions take over. It is very important that you turn the negative: discouragement into a positive: motivation.
Empower yourself with positive affirmations. You can do this by telling yourself “I know I have talent, I know that anyone would be lucky to hire me, I know that I am great at what I do, and I know that I will get the job I want”…. then go get it”
” If you do the same thing you’ve always done, you will get the same thing you’ve always gotten”