Why You Can’t Find a Job, but You’ve Applied EVERYWHERE!

Ugh! I have to fill out another online job application??

What is your first name, what is your middle name, what is your last name, what is your address, what is the name of your high school, what town is your high school in, what year did you graduate, what was your GPA, what is the name of the college you attended, what town is it in, what was your major, what was your minor, what classes did you take, what year did you take them, name every single job you ever had and explain in full detail the reason for every gap of unemployment and persuade us you are not a lazy bum… oh and tell me if you are white or Spanish, male or female, or have security clearance for no one even knows what purpose…

Now submit your resume that has all that information on it and don’t forget to bring multiple copies to the interview (if you even get that far) because it wont be looked at until you hand it to them anyway. Oh and please upload a “CV” (what?!) saying how you are absolutely perfect for the job and why they should choose you over the other 500 applicants with the same ‘hire me now!’ attitude.

40 minutes later… Almost done!

Sign here and confirm all the information is correct so that we can make sure you are not a liar when we run a background check  and get all your information anyway, thank you for wasting your time!

Phew… 45 minutes later, one down…..99 to go

If that is how you think it works, you may as well employ yourself as a professional job applicant form filler for rest of the like-minded unemployed population waiting for their next big break!… if only you could just land that job that pays you more money, life would be SO much better!

Now I am aware that not every job has the same process or stile of hiring people but if you get into business, which I am, it is pretty much the same song and dance everywhere you go:

  1. You have to know somebody who knows somebody
  2. They only hire/promote from within
  3. You are not what they are looking for
  4. Your resume sucks

These are all possibilities but not probabilities…except maybe the last one.

Lets take a walk through what is happening in your current situation:

  1. You bring up good ol’ google and type in some variation of ‘jobs in NJ/NY’
  2. A job search engine (or 50) immediately pop up and you click away
  3. Oh look! This one looks soooo great! It says ‘Apply on Company Website!’
  4. Of course you happily click that button feel empowered and excited for the possibly of landing this job
  5. It directs you to the company’s website and asks you to ‘create a profile’
  6. You start typing away making sure all your information is included and relevant so that they are impressed with how perfectly you fit this position
  7. You go through 45 minutes of vigorous repetitive questions and hit SUBMIT
  8. You can’t wait to hear back, omg I hope they want to schedule an interview, what should I wear?!
  9. After you hit SUBMIT…the oh-so-thorough electronic profile and job application, that you spent 45 minutes filling out, is electronically scanned to detect key words and then populates a number that indicates  a % of how well you match a predetermined set of criteria that they are specifically looking for
  10. And If your magic % is less than theirs….
  11. No one knows you exist
  12. 150 applications later…
  13. You are still unemployed

 

So how do you get your resume seen?…Try these techniques (POST COMING SOON)

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